Respect and Trust

This morning there is obviously a lot of reflection upon the riots in Tottenham last night.

One comment on Twitter caught my attention - it suggested that a lack of respect for the police meant that violence was a more likely outcome of any protest. As I reflected upon this I wondered if this lack of respect also applies to other public services such as health and education. I know that there are many dedicated professionals working in theses services, but when I think of these organisations as a whole my view sadly is not one of dedication to those they serve. Is this due to the media's focus on the scandals that arise in these services? Not entirely, my view is more influenced by personal experiences and those of others I know of.

Why is this? Many of my recent personal experiences of public services; and I don't have that many; leave me feeling frustrated and annoyed. And bizarrely not because of what they do or don't do but in how I feel after engaging with them. I rarely feel that as a member of the public that they want to serve me. More often I feel that I should be grateful for anything they deign to provide for me. Now don't get me wrong I do think that a lot of our public services do a very good job and we probably don't appreciate them enough. But I don't want to feel like I have inconvenienced them with my inquiry or request. I'm wondering if this is because the providers of these services no longer trust us; the general public. Could this be because these services are so concerned about the negative implications of providing their services to the small minority who don't deserve them that their focus is on them, which is reflected in their attitude to all of us.

I do accept that there are people who abuse our public services and those who work in them. But I do think these people are in the minority and I am beginning to question whether preventing that abuse is worth the cost to the majority. Is the public sectors focus on fraud meaning that we are all presumed guilty until we can prove ourselves innocent? And if so is that the price we are prepared to pay? Because if we don't trust them and they don't trust us then we are probably all going to be increasingly frustrated.

If I'm right about this then what would should we do? It seems to me that we need a process to redefine our public services and align them to what we the public want from them. And may be this needs to be by way of a continual process of engagement. This leads me to wonder whether some of our current governance models are flawed. Do I really want:

• to be represented by someone who I may never even see or speak to?
• the opportunity to go through the expenditure of various organisations?
• go along to public meetings?

No, not really. But would I like more say in how the services I use allocate their scarce resources. Yes, I would. So for me the ability to engage with these services either as and when I use them or via convenient methods of communication about their future plans and options would be appreciated.

And perhaps if more people feel like me we could help to redefine public services and rebuild the mutual trust and respect we may have lost.

Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young.

On this day in 1997, the words that were immortalised by Baz Luhrmann “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)” are 14 years old.

The original article appeared in the Chicago Tribune entitled, “Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young”.

The author, Mary Schmich set out to write a fictitious graduation speech. “Most of us, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns”.

She invited her readership to do the same, 14-years later we take up that mantle and the #sunscreenchallenge was born.

Each blogger spent 1-hour creating a graduation speech. Essentially, it’s the advice that they’d pass onto school leavers today based on their own life experience. However as I came to this challenge late today I am going to deliberately keep it "short and sweet".

If you’ve enjoyed the blog – please RT the post, include the #sunscreenchallenge tag and find other blog posts using this hashtag.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 2011

The piece of advice I find myself giving most often and I should like to share with you is "Don't let fear limit your achievements'. Over the years there have been many things that I wished I had done but didn't because I was scared. Mainly scared of failure or of looking a fool in front of others.

I frequently hear people described in incredibly glowing terms but then with the caveat of "but they lack confidence" added to describe why I might not see this in them and I am pretty sure that the same has been said of me too at times.

In fact there are often times in my life when I realise I am being overly cautious because of a fear of failure or a lack of confidence even now. But what I have learnt is that even those who appear confident often aren't so - they just hide it better than perhaps I think I do.

So my advice to you and, also still to myself at times, is when you are afraid of failure - give it a go - do your best and if it does go wrong, people are pretty forgiving, on the whole. And if you are afraid of looking a fool, (and lets be honest here - who isn't?) I have learnt that if you give it a go - there will usually be at least one person who says I am glad you did that, I really wanted to too. And the bizarre thing is that often when you do feel you have made a fool of yourself, perhaps by asking what you think of as an obvious question, others will invariably see you as being brave to ask what they were afraid to.

And finally confidence is like a muscle in the body - it grows the more you exercise it. So you will become more confident as you try things you were initially scared to do. Ok - some wont go right but you will learn from them. But more will probably go right than wrong, so you will become more confident.

I've also found that is much easier to be confident when you are being honest with the world - honest about who you are, what you like and what you think of things. It is also easier to be confident in yourself when you surround yourself with positive people who appreciate you for who you are. Value those people as they are a rare treasure in life.

And finally do look after your knees, you really will miss them if you mess them up! As I have recently found out too.

If you liked this post, please RT and use the hashtag #sunscreenchallenge.

Here is a list of bloggers who are participating in the #sunscreenchallenge. Please visit their blogs to view their posts!

@ADCC1978 http://passthenomad.wordpress.com
@astrotour2010 http://davidault.blogspot.com
@bainser http://www.bainser.com/
@baxfail http://baxfail.wordpress.com/
@chrisgolds http://www.achapcalledchris.blogspot.com
@donkeycolm http://thesearethethoughts-c.blogspot.com/
@guy_interruptd http://www.sexdrugssausagerolls.wordpress.com/
@kaiserraath kaiserraath.wordpress.com
@lucasowen85 http://lucasowen85.wordpress.com
@mjryandaly http://markryandaly.com/
@stitch_85 http://someonewicked.posterous.com/
@windsorbuoy http://www.windsorboy.com/
@peacockpete http://www.peacockpete.co.uk/
@squawkbox http://squawkbox.tumblr.com/
@thirtydegree http://wp.me/p1rxiF-1E
@textster http://noneofthekingsmen.wordpress.com
@LiamSE21 http://t.co/ePClV1U
@Paulbuca http://paulbuca.wordpress.com/2011/06/01/wear-sunscreen/
@DavidJamesWest http://davidjameswest.wordpress.com/2011/06/01/sunscreenchallenge/
@jamiezoob http://skylarkingzooby.wordpress.com/2011/06/01/sunscreen-challenge/
@deadliftbear http://bit.ly/kFkSV7

The original article can be found here

Are you listening to me?

Communicating with each other, although something we do virtually every day, really isn that easy is it?





I recently witnessed an exchange between two people I regularly "chat" with on Twitter as well as offline. Both are decent people, although they are very different. During this exchange what I expect started as humorous banter, albeit with a serious edge too, quickly degenerated into something far less pleasant. Both had their points to make, but I suspect that neither really "heard" what the other was saying. Matters became worse when other Twitter followers started to take sides, with one even going as far as threatening one of them. I looked on with sadness feeling that I could do little else. Eventually things calmed down but I suspect that by then people had become offended and/or upset.

Initially I was thinking "but why couldn't they see what the other was saying, why was it so important for each to convince the other, why did this seem to inflame people so quickly?" But then it struck me that I had been involved in a very similar exchange in real life a few days earlier. Suddenly my questions became "why couldn't I hear what the other person was saying, why was it so important for each of us to convince the other, why did we get so inflamed to quickly" What a change is perspective that was.

Did I then have a startling revelation that I can share, sadly not! But I did appreciate anew that when I communicate with others my emotions, past experiences and ego are very much part of those exchanges. I am seldom completely logical, even if I would like to think I am and should be. I also appreciated the need to listen and ask far more questions to understand others perspectives. And finally I recognised the need to forgive and ask for forgiveness when I forget the former and end up miscommunicating.




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